Alright guys, I finally hopped on the bandwagon. I caved Monday night and started watching The Bachelorette. That’s right, after 20+ odd seasons of the franchise, I gave in. Why? I can’t really say. What I can tell you is that after the premiere, I’m hooked.
One other thing I know for sure is that I have many opinions – most of which you’ll read in this synopsis. Needless to say, but spoilers ahead!
Okay, so I actually didn’t tune in early enough to watch this live, but I saw a clip on The Bachelorette website where previous contestants were giving Rachel advice. I didn’t really know what to make of it other than “Oh, Corrine. She was the crazy one, right?” and “Wait, didn’t Raven win? Why is she here?” *Googles the bachelor winner* “Oh, Vanessa won. Right!”
I obviously know my trivia.
I did not realize there were 31 bros fighting for those roses. I mean, I knew there were a lot, but 31 just seems like a TON! Since there were such a plethora of men we were introduced to, I’m just going to go over the most memorable of the bros (in alphabetic order).
BROUGHT THIS FELLA
AND IT WAS WAY. TOO. FREAKY. Like yo, Adam, you’re cute and all, but this docked you serious points in my book. If I were Rachel, I’d be like “Please leave. Or burn that doll. Or both.”
Dude brought in a whole marching band so he could make a better impression than when he first met Rachel. Props to you, Blake E. You’re one of my favorites at this point!
Blake K. also had a very good introduction, in my opinion! He talked about how his parents (grandparents?) only knew each other a couple months before getting married, and now they’re married over 60 years! If that doesn’t give you #RelationshipGoals, then I don’t know what does!
For any of you who don’t remember this dude, he was the one who brought a sledgehammer to “Break the ice.” And since y’all know that I’m a fan of puns, you can bet that I greatly appreciated this introduction.
Oh, Bryan. Where do I start with you? You spoke Spanish and enchanted Rachel from the very beginning. Cut to me, sitting on my bed, yelling “FAKE!” at the TV. Not to mention he kissed Rachel on the first night!! Twice!! Not a fan, Bryan. Not a fan.
Okay, so I felt for Fred. He wanted to prove to Rachel that he was different than when they knew each other back in school. I know Rachel was a little hesitant, but hey, don’t judge a dude by the way he acted in 3rd grade!
Jedidiah (Bible dude)
I saw that this guy’s name was Jedidiah, and then he quoted the bible. All I could think was “Of course.”
Jonathon (tickle monster)
Okay, Jonathon. You need to sit down and think about your boundaries. Don’t tickle anyone you haven’t met previously! In fact, maybe don’t tickle anyone?? Hands to yourself, buddy.
Josiah (Lawyer puns)
Okay, I loved Josiah. He was so confident, and he introduced himself with a ton of lawyer puns. As I mentioned before, I quite like puns!
Whaboom. Frickin’ WHABOOM. This man made me want to throw my TV out the window. From the moment he started using the megaphone to his signature Whaboom move. Like, dude. Calm down. Just take your things and walk out the door.
Dude showed up in a penguin costume. I don’t know if this was his goal, but that’s pretty much all I remember about him.
I thought it was cute how Will initially dressed and acted like Steve Urkel, only to go back into the limo and change into his real self. Very nice, Will!
Honestly, the fact that Rachel gave Bryan the first impression rose made me a little ticked off. I know she said she took it very seriously, but the fact that she gave it to the dude who said he would be “trouble” and kissed her basically right away did not do well for me.
I also know that the only reason Lucas was given a rose was to raise drama for the next episodes. Shows like these always need a seriously crazy person so people keep tuning in. All I can hope for is that he gets kicked off soon. Lucas, you need to whaboom yourself out of this competition!
Who got kicked off
Grant, Kyle, Blake K., Milton, Mohit, Rob, Jedidiah
Can we just talk about Blake K. for a minute, though? This dude deserved much more! Lucas needed to give up his rose so Blake could have it. Give Blake a chance! He could make friends with the other Blake!
Other memorable scenes
I know I briefly mentioned this when I talked about Adam, but AJ was seriously creepy. I hate dolls, but this dude’s facial expression just makes everything extra weird. It also didn’t help that they made him “talk”! No no no no no no no.
“The Crazy One”
“Which one of y’all is the crazy one?”
*Lucas comes in and does his Whaboom thing*
“That’s the crazy one.”
Blake vs Lucas
The Blake E. vs Lucas conversation was very awkward. Like, I agreed with everything Blake was saying, but you could tell that Lucas just didn’t care. He literally dgaf.
Mohit spying on Bryan and Rachel
This was literally one of the funniest moments of the whole episode, to be honest. Mohit was drunk and did not Bryan to get that rose or kiss Rachel. His reaction to the whole thing was iconic and quite relatable.
Honestly, I’m a bit disappointed in myself that I didn’t tune into this series in previous seasons. It’s honestly hilarious (even at it’s most awkward moments), and I’m looking forward to seeing how the rest of the series plays out! Will Bryan win it all? When will Lucas finally go home? Will there be more sick puns? I guess we’ll all find out!
Did you watch Monday’s episode of The Bachelorette? If so, what were your thoughts on it? I’d love to know!
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