Every week I find myself watching The Bachelorette, the more I find myself getting obsessed with the show while simultaneously getting very annoyed by it. It’s like I’m a mother to a disruptive teenager. I still love it in my heart, but I’m struggling to understand why it does the things it does.
This week we were blessed (
cursed?) with not one, but TWO dramatic episodes! And man, let me tell you, I had drama of my OWN! I was looking forward to part 2 all day Tuesday, but come to find out the city of Chicago values the Cubs Game over The Bachelorette. Can you believe it? I take back every good thing I said about this city, as this betrayal cannot be forgiven. Luckily, I have the best mother in the world who let me FaceTime her so I could watch it on the TV back at home. #Blessed.
Anyway, onto the show!
So this episode opens up on the Lee + Kenny drama…again. Lee is throwing shade, and Kenny isn’t having any of it. Luckily, my boy Kenny is being the more mature of the two. As I mentioned on Twitter: “Lee? More like LEEve, amirite?”
One on One with Jack Stone
So this week’s one on one date is with Jack Stone, one of the most forgettable dudes of the cast. I mean, Tickle Monster is weird but at least he’s not forgettable! But friends, this was one of the most awkward things I have had to sit through. I know people who physically had to turn away or mute the TV during it.
So they go to this fair thing and they’re shucking oysters, taking dancing lessons, not to mention that TERRIBLY AWKWARD KISS ON THE PIER. Like Rachel pulled away multiple times while this was going on. Meanwhile, Jack was saying how he could see them together forever. He was also making this creepy af face the whole time:
Anyway, after a conversation where Jack said he just wanted to “lay in bed and talk” with Rachel, our girl was flat out like “nah bro” and kicked him to the curb. Only she did it in a nicer way than I would’ve. Rachel, you’re my favorite.
Today we said goodbye to two people that no one ever had strong opinions on: Iggy and Tickle Monster. Cue me screaming at the TV, hoping that Rachel would hear me and kick Lee off too. However, we all knew about the Two on One date that was going to happen with him and Kenny. They only gave us a billion teasers for it!
One on One
So after they all hopped on a plane from Hilton Head, South Carolina to Oslo, Norway, it was time for Bryan to have his chance at a one on one! Rachel said they were going to explore the city, but they ended up propelling off the ski jump. Guys, take notes: That would be a freakin’ RAD date!
And then there was the typical dinner in a huge room with one tiny table. Bryan obviously gets that rose and is still in my top 5!
Since the crew is in Norway, they’re obviously going to do something traditional to the country. So the dudes (Alex, Josiah, Anthony, Dean, Adam, Eric, Peter, Matt, Will) and Rachel played a good game of handball. Can we just talk about those uniforms though?
Note Adam Junior chillin’ like a villain
Even after a make out sesh in the hot tub with Peter, Rachel gives the group rose to Will. Nice!
Two on One
This date features the dynamic duo Lee and Kenny! Okay, so we can all think of a better duo then those two because Lee is a snake and reptil-LEE-an (Thanks Kenny for those names!)
Even though we all knew it would be these two, they were told with an ominous note from Chris Harrison.
Two men, one rose. One stays, one goes.
So this date is kind of dramatic, but it’s actually not the source of the bloody eye that we keep seeing on the teasers. It basically just consists of Lee and Kenny telling Rachel two different things (Lee obviously lying).
Before we move on, can we just talk about the conversation between Kenny and his daughter? THE MOST ADORABLE THING EVER! I was literally crying watching this play out because they obviously have such a strong connection. Kenny is seriously one of the best dads on TV!
TO BE CONTINUED
Lucky for you, I’m not a major television network and won’t make you wait a whole 24 hours for the next episode! Hurrah!
Unlucky for you, I’m unable to give you all the juicy details from the first 45 minutes because that was when I was scrambling to try and find a way to watch this freakin’ show. Thanks for nothing, ABC.
Two on One
After conversing with both men, Rachel decided to let Lee go (THANK GOD!), but she didn’t give the rose to Kenny right away. After an undisturbed conversation back at the house, she decided to give him the rose.
Enter another conversation between Kenny and his daughter. I’m tearing up again as I’m writing this because they miss each other so much!
Side note: Was I the only one who wanted them to just leave Lee on that island and see if he can make it off? Because THAT is something I would watch.
First Rose Ceremony
Rachel sent home an odd couple of people, to be honest. Josiah (wasn’t expecting this, but also wasn’t that surprised) and Anthony (very surprising!)
Yet, Matt is still here? Matt, who even are you? You are still the penguin guy in my eyes. No personality, just penguin.
One on One with Eric
Bye, Norway! It’s time to go to Denmark! Can we just take a second to talk about that hotel? Talk about travel goals!
Eric finally gets his shot at a one on one after confessing that he thinks Rachel is only giving the one on ones to the white guys (and Anthony).
I actually missed a lot of this date in the hoopla surrounding my watching situation, but I do know that it went swimmingly! I also know that there was a seriously awesome amusement park! I’m really glad the date went well because I feel like Eric has made a complete 180 since that first episode we were really introduced to him. Let’s hope that he continues to be a positive aspect of the show.
However, let’s not forget that he spelled facade wrong last week. #Physde4Life
The group date crowd consisted of Adam, Alex, Bryan, Dean, Kenny, Matt, and Peter. The squad rowed a boat to this island where they were met Tim and Morton. Talk about a dynamic duo!
So anyway, Adam and Kenny start dueling, and here is where we FINALLY find out where the bloody eye is from! Who else was positive it was going to come from Lee last episode? I know I was!
Here’s where the emotions kick in. Matt raises a concern about Kenny’s emotional state to Rachel, so she has a conversation with Kenny. After an emotional discussion, Rachel makes the hard decision to let Kenny go home to his daughter. While I know this was the best decision for the both of them, it was tough to see Kenny leave since he was one of my favorites. So long, Kenny. I’m glad you get to see your daughter again!
One on One with Will
Will is the one that we all like, but know nothing about. He’s never involved in the drama and he’s always super nice, so that gets him major points in my book! The couple coasts from Denmark to Sweden for their date. I wish I was able to just go to a different country for a day. You really can’t even go to another state for a day trip here!
Him and Rachel go to a cafe where they are met by the cutest Swedish couple in the world. They’ve been married for 35 years and have a nice little conversation with Rachel and Will. So sweet! Rachel and Will then go to the top of a freakin’ castle, but Will isn’t making ANY move on Rachel. Come on, Will! Use your words!
Sadly, Will uses the wrong words. He brings his dating history up to Rachel, stating that “he’s really only dated white girls.” Rachel is not pleased, but can you blame her? That’s not a great thing for the dude to say. So Will gets the boot and it’s time for the final rose ceremony.
Final Rose Ceremony
We finally get to see an episode end with a rose ceremony! I thought it might never happen again! I felt bad for Rachel because she was getting really emotional. She already had to send home two really great guys, and she had to do it one more time.
So here I was, watching this show on my parents’ TV via FaceTime, absolutely yelling at the screen. “SEND MATT HOME!” Yet, he got like the first rose of the ceremony. Penguin Matt, who are you?? It was then that I knew in my heart that I was going to have to say goodbye to one of my favorites.
Even though I was yelling even louder than before, Rachel still didn’t listen to me. She sent my boy Alex home!
Baby, come back!
What’s to come?
On the teasers for later episodes, there are hints that Rachel becomes more closed off. You can tell that the weight of the show is really getting to her.
However, there is a sneak peek of a van pulling up to a mysterious location. Do we think someone’s coming back to the show? And if so, do we think it might be my boy Alex?
Alright, so it’s not going to be my boy Alex. I actually think it might be Josiah! What do you think?
And that’s what you missed on this week’s episodes of The Bachelorette! As always, you can keep up with my immediate reactions every Monday night on Twitter.
What were your thoughts on this week’s episodes of The Bachelorette? Let me know in the comments!
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